Saturday, 3 August 2013

2013的七月-真心大冒险

七月开始得很快,因为在忙着考Test1。
一天两个test 真的很累人~ 之后,就开始颓废,本该继续努力读书的,却颓废了~
虽然很颓废,可是还是有读到FM 的。
还是觉得自己太白痴了,为什么要去拿FM。
就像自己去搬砖块砸自己的脚,痛晕活该。
天天的倒数,让自己的压力很大,没有过好好休息的时间。
就是没做什么会更压力。一直问自己为什么浪费时间,责怪自己却没停止浪费时间。
压力就像球般的越滚越大,很好,结果就天天失眠,最早睡着的时间也是凌晨两点多。
所谓的身心疲惫就是这种吧。
我想,我不会去拿第二张了。除非老娘有充分的时间!
什么即兴,什么拿了就会读,狗屁!只有压力!

不说读书,我一个月没回家了,本来想回去帮我的好友庆生,可是她说赶来赶去,才回来一天,不要回来更好。那~~~好吧,寿星都叫我不要回去了~就连我问她,难道你不想我吗?好久没有亲自帮你庆生了,竟然回我说,“我们不是才见面不久吗?”。拜托,那是五月尾的事情啦!就你不想我,不想我啦!!!!(闹别扭中,蹬脚!)

说起来,也不知该不该写下来,其实我也是有些责怪自己。
如果我更积极,可能,你就可以直飞印度了。
在做决定的时候,我也不是很能帮到你。如果我更坚持,可能你就不会犹豫那么多了。
好啦,我知道,你会说,这不关你的事,不用怪自己。那你也不要再责怪你自己了。
当我们无法改变以成事实的事情,就当它是命中注定。
努力为自己寻找下一个目标吧!毕竟人不能长期活在失落和内疚里。
可能它会成我们心中永远的遗憾,却可能为我们的将来带来更明确的决定。
长大啦,学会对自己负责人,学习聆听自己内心的声音,而不是他人的意见。
长大啦,要有主见啦,对自己的人生负责!那你才能活得更美好,更开心~

接下来就是说说我自己啦~
有人说,我很会封锁自己,即使很关心你,还是被困在外面,从来进不到内心世界。
哈哈。连我自己都会迷路的迷宫里,我不配拥有那把开启的钥匙。
我是个非常非常非常闷骚的人,不会轻易表达自己的想法,即使有想法也会在心里跟自己说而已。但是有时候,却像白痴的小孩一样,说出不该说的,表达不该表达的。我更想把我的嘴巴封起来,不会再有新的好朋友了吧。因为~~~我把钥匙弄丢了。。。


说着也奇怪,我们好像回不到以前了,你不会再依赖我,我们不会再牵手,手挽着手去逛街。说心事了。。。无意间看见 FBchatbox 里不会再有我和你们的38。真的不是想偷看,是无意间看到的。

想着想着,这一切好像都是我自己造成的。
从中学开始就觉得我不管跟谁在一起,我都是多出来的第三个~
即使到了大学,我还是觉得自己是多出来的那个~
很多时候情愿自己一个人上课,寂寞也不想让自己觉得自己是多出来的那个~
啊~太白痴了,知道这个被人家读到了,大家都会很担心我。可是这次我真的真真切切都把我内心想的都说了,我是不是有进步啦~

一直以来,我都是很封锁自己的情感,不说什么都不说。不想让人家担心,不想让人家为难。和我做朋友那么久的你们,应该看得出来的吧,很多时候都有想法,就是不想说出来。
因为我知道,说出来,只会扫兴,要顾全大局啊。和很久很久的朋友在一起,其实我没有太多的想法,常常我以为人家计划好了,我跟着去享受就好了,然而她的想法是,你很久没回来了,想去哪,想好了我带你去玩。其实我真的没有去想,我那么久没有待在槟城了,哪里好玩的,好吃的,我也outdate 很久了。可不可以,下次我们出去的时候,你计划好就好啦~~~ 我真的很懒惰,也想不出哪里好玩的。你来KL的话,我在带你去玩,我帮你想~ ok?槟城的,我真的不懂逛啊~

好啦,虽然这个学期,没有真的很好的朋友陪我读书了。有一点空虚,可是也不会让人家乘虚而入的。不要再叫我找男朋友了,我懂你们的意思,其实想让我更放开心胸,坦坦荡荡的活着,不要再封锁自己的心了。我会努力的把那把钥匙拿回来,请不要再叫我找男朋友了~

不想失去真心,不想孤独终老就要靠自己的努力啦~
人说,1%的运气是靠99%的努力换来的~
我去读书啦,星期一要再拍毕业照,还要考试!
大家加油啦~ 我还是很纠结,我的运动鞋~什么时候,我才可以狠下心做决定啊~ 痛苦~~~

Sunday, 23 June 2013

~ 22's Birthday ~ '2013'

Oh yeah ~~~ I'm getting older ... -_- ages getting older but not the heart...!!! :P
HaPpY 22 to myself... So glad that I am still alive, to be with my lovely family, sweeties friends, and fighting coursemate.....

After step in 20, I keep telling myself, I have to be grow, I must to be mature, no matter thinking or physically.... and the most happiness in my uni life is I felt down in my study... I saw what happen to me after that, I get learn to understand myself, I get learn the right way to study, to level up my skill, my personality..
Maybe my personality still no yet done, but does not it is a whole life jobs for us?

I has been lost in study, I dont know why I am taking Actuarial Science, I have no idea why I still keep on going when I dont know why.... But I just know, I have to keep on going, because I dont have other opportunity... But yet, my dear friend persuade me to stay, my mom ask me with "did you put all effort on it, did you try your best?" My answer is no, because there was never the best, I can be better, I deserve to be better.... and I start to moving onward step by step.... slowly and slowly... and yet I'm improved !!! I saw the result from below 2.0 to be increase slowly slowly.... prove I really have improvement, I did a great job on the subject I love... I start to love what I learn, and I enjoy when learning new knowledge from it...

Why I will go to notice on my result? after my friend help me check my last semester result while I'm outside. she told me : " You did improve a lot." I even no realize my improvement before she told me, I just feel the smooth on study, but when i getting better and better, is time for me to left school, feel so sad about it... " I can be Better!" So , what can I do now? being better that never been....

okok,done with study stuff....
I'm so glad that I have such much birthday's celebration in my life and this year....
maybe that is not through every gang of my friends... But I do happy to share my happy moment with all of them....

Almost forgot to thanks my dear brother and sister-in-law for my birthday gift !!!
Thank for bought me gift once know I lost my old watch...
scare me dont like other's style and bought me the mostly similar to my old watch...
hahaha...thank you for knowing me no money to buy such expensive watch !!!
muackssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!
Does some1 keep searching of it??? hehehehehe......
Fruit tart from pling !!!
Nice oh !!!! yummy yummy !!!!

This year I celebrate with my lovely primary,secondary and best friend at 3 different places.
1. Penang gai gai trip with BeeHui
2. Mid-Valley and Alexis with LionLeeLee
3. Wait so long for a meet at McD with Pling
2nd is celebration with my dear 4 year uni friends, my dear 3 year housemate and my dear catrina chin...
So glad that the last big gang help me celebrate birthday have the join of catrina ...hohoho... left out yygoh lo....ehem~~~ hahahahahaha  :)

thank god that I'm not alone !!!
ok....
here some sexy photo from my friends and my self photo.... no more wording but photossssss~~~
birthday wish from ah bee

photo edited by Ryan after celebration
awwwww!!!! thank you all !!!!!
sot photo after sing K at iPop



Thank god I'm growing mentally with the age..... :)

Sunday, 9 June 2013

穷酸的六月

为什么为什么?因为我上个月用到了这个月的零用钱。
倒不如说,我就是爱存钱。
上个月去了趟普及岛,噢~~~~
玩得尽兴,钱也穷尽~~~~(毕竟花了RM1200 啊,已经超过一个月的零用钱了。虽说我这笔钱是实习的时候存下来的~)不过还是很开心~~~~~ 当个饿鬼也无所谓啦~
加上,放假时买了十分之贵的护肤产品,还买了会花更多钱的相机。
我得绑紧裤带了~
才月头而已,我不停的说,穷啊,穷啊,穷啊!
我要紧紧地抓着裤头,说着:“我不饿!,我是饿不死的。”
其实,我也是赖在家里,什么都自己煮。都快被我的室友问哑了,“你的菜还没烂吗?煮了那么多天都不出去吃?” >.<
才过了一个礼拜的六月,要继续加油啊!

刚刚去了一趟楼下,走下阶梯时,风一直吹,湖色的美景,我就忍不住停下来拍了一张照片。
如果治安没那么危险,我想我会喜欢在那里静思,发呆。心情会变好噢~
要加油哦!即将考试的朋友!
要照顾自己噢!出国读书的朋友!

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

My Instax mini 8_1st episode


My 1st ever received instax photo....
It boost up the feeling of buying instax mini of me.
At the end, I bought it as my 1st ever camera with my pocket money in my life.
And I love it so much !!!
A instax mini8 + 1 free film, + 2 film about Rm300
Bought in Gurney Plaza.

10
After bought it, can't wait to start my instax photo....
Credited by Poh Mei Shan to capture my 1st instax photo from my little pinky.
It is not perfect, but nothing is perfect...
Thank you very much to Mei Shan help taking photo and lend the car for us to jalan-2 at Penang.

9
2nd instax photo by a lovely table's neighbour in Alexis , The Garden

8
When I said, nah give you....
she happy till sot pi....
and ask me really 1 2 give me?
and I said, do you happy? this is the reason i give it to you.
It is memorable and happy to be sharing.
This is the reason I love instax mini, it bring happiness to all...
It told us that happiness and memory is precious...

 I keep finding my precious friend to have the photo and try to share the happiness and memorable moment to them....
Be my instax photo target, Be Friend in my heart, Be Memory in your whole life...

LoVe and HapPiness always spread in the world, surrounding us....
I know someone is Jealous- ing , hey you !!! Meet me fast, Grab it in your hand , happiness in your heart , Memory in your life ....  I am Waiting for YOU !!!! :)


~~  Love Instax , Love your lifestyle  ~~
7
my 3rd Photo giving out... HappY BirthDaY to THUEY !!!
My BirthDaY
18.06.2013 - 3 photo and so sad that one of it spoil due to "too high"?
6
Broken 1, I think maybe someone sit on it???  :(
5
Finally get a group photo!!! the only time during my uni life that catrina celebrate v me....
Wohoooo!!!!
HappY Pi- tech ! HappY PV12 !!! <3
4
Left somebody is no here.... just 3 of us !!!! BFF !!!
A lovely photo for my dear b4 go to a new life - work !!!
wish u all the best and always rmb us...
Is it so nice to have you with us this few weeks....
feel like we alr together for 4 years !!! muackssssssss!!!

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Big Day for my brother and sister-in-law !!!!


 Dang Dang Dang ~ Dang ~~ Dang ~ Dang ~ Dang ~~ Dang~~~~~~~.... ^.^
Congratz to my brother and sister-in-law today !!! Happy Marriage !!! muacksss !!!
Selfie with my dad, surprise me that he is so IN with YEAH !!! haha
Oh !!! my mom said, eyes cant be seen in 1st photo and she tried to get the bigger eyes on this photo..
hahahahahahahaha....
I always love to say, I have a CUTE mom !!!

borrow me your flower har, let me get the pink aura.... hahahahaha

Thank for the gift after knowing I lost my watch at Phuket trip !!!
I forgot that i take it off when washing hand in public toilet of hotel.
I jz remind back when I am 1 hour far from hotel and on the way going to airport !!! T ^ T

Big wish to my lovely brother and sweet sister-in-law, always happy and healthy.... 
Always support you all..... and love you all .... ^.^

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

发泄!课业太沉重。

压力大!压力很大!
当责任扛在肩上,我就跌坐在地上。
我知道,我不是一个很有担当的人,我很平凡,或者说我其实很弱小。

现在的我,责任=压力。
比考试压力还大,那是人家加注在自己身上的压力,理所当然的压力。
什么都不能说,说了也没用的压力,只能往肚子里吞。

奢望就是要遇到一个很奢侈的人才会给你的希望 / 那是一个奢侈的愿望,不要期望~!
所以我不再期望或奢望你的安慰。拥着那痛苦入眠。

压力不过于,看透自己无法解决眼前必须解决的事情而产生的过分担忧焦虑的心情。
我是做不到你心目中的一百分,可我很努力的爬起来,扛着那责任走下去。
或许我习惯丢下责任,掉头就跑。但是,这次我不会再逃,再辛苦我也会走下去。
这不就是成长吗?忍!忍下那不该有的心痛,或许自信就回来了。
或许这就是独立的开始。

最近的口头禅,
“我手上的事业线那么长,不怕没工作。”
“工作不是没有,是看你愿不愿意屈服。”
“如果不要嫌弃那么多,什么工作都可以做的。”
“忙到死的时间都没有,怎么......”
“我现在唯一的愿望就是睡上24小时,不要醒来,睡到死去也甘愿。”
“kek阿! 为什么会这样的!气到!”
" Running Man: Don't Walk, Run !!! " 

改变,就是要付出代价,而过程就是最大的代价。
要看见彩虹,要先经历下雨。
加油!加油!加油!不可以被课业压扁,这样死法太不人道了~

Monday, 18 March 2013

The most busiest semester in my Uni-life --- Y3S3

What really going on this semester?
Come back KL earlier for the internship presentation.
Wk 1-2 : Settle down the timetable for class.
Wk 3-4 : shopping and prepare for CNY...
Wk 5 :  go for CNY holiday.
Wk 6 : Replacement class for CNY break.
Wk 6-7 :AT meeting and document preparation
Wk 7: Recruit helper for event, start online exercise of LC II . AT event go on for 2 days with 9 months preparation.
Wk 8 : Photo shooting for Convo.
Wk 8-9 : Test, test, test and test!
Wk 9-10 : Assignment, assignment and assignment..
Wk 11-12 :Test, test, test again !!!
Wk 12-13 : Assignment and Assignment...
Exam Wk : no more study break and Final Exam !!!!
(p/s : maybe Wk14 become study break? or tips weeks?)
Holiday Break : 1 week for Phuket and 520 for my brother's marry registration !!! :P

It is a peak season for the first half of 2013 !!! too full.... too full !!! and i started hate assignment and more prefer for test ~

Anyway, I will squeeze my time for my dear friends' birthday and break time for me to relax and energize myself...
And, I want to go back hometown to visit my parent and sleep on my lovely bed !!! I missed them too much !!!
Please help me pray hard that I can go back on this week, since I alr cant go back on wk11 weekend due to wk12 monday have test...@.@
Please !!!!

have to keep on doing my assignment ~ All the best and good luck for all student !!! :)